If I died tomorrow

If I died tomorrow, what would I be most remembered for?
Believe me, that is a question that I try to answer every day
thinking about the delicate fragility that tomorrow entails,
what if’s, could be’s—enshroud my thoughts occasionally,
not reminiscing the past but picturing my very last breath.

I may be remembered for the words that I mostly conveyed,
I may be remembered for my unrelenting state of calmness,
I may be remembered for efforts I made to lead myself well,
I may be remembered for the instances and people I escaped,
or, I may be forgotten from the next day of my non-existence.

It does not scare me as such. Yes! the thought of death I mean.
Nor am I scared of the uncertainty of the moments passing by,
what scares me is whether or not I’m living true to myself,
what scares me is whether or not I’m living true to my death,
the simple and single answer to which in most part is ‘yes’.

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Fragility

Life’s fragile.
More fragile than
we can ever imagine.
To feel the assurance of
that ever-flowing breath now
and not feel it the next moment.
Wonder what can be so unpredictable,
so startling, so gripping, so unimaginable.
Yet what can be done is just going along with it,
openly receiving what each day has to give,
and adding value with each step we take.
Just being: being here and now as time
unfolds its magic and uncertainties.
Just cherishing our existence even
on days we don’t want to at all.
Just cherishing this journey
because life’s fragile.

Esbapiaeth

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Escape.
Escape if you want to.
Escape if things seem wrong.
Escape into the reign unreached.
Escape from the dilemmas bestowed.
Escape from the guilt of living many lives.
Escape from all that you want to escape from.
Escape for as long and as far as you want to escape.
Escape until you find the lost pieces of your lost existence.
Escape, blocking out what is said, unaffected by the mockery.
Escape to meander, assess and rethink the values that you live by.
Escape, but try not to kill others’ hopes through your singular stampede.

Possibility

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Maybe all of us seek someone
to contain that we’re unique beings
in this universe full of magic.

Maybe all of us need someone
to make us love ourselves, despite
knowing that it is inevitable.

Maybe all of us await someone
to clean our wounds and heal them
even if we ourselves could have.

Maybe all of us want someone
to teach us the meaning of this life
while we could have been at it.

Vivant

i am made of calm and chaos
i express dreams and disgust
i let go of ecstasies and ego
i survive wonders and windstorms
i smile of fearlessness and facade
i believe in magic and in mundane
i am thoughtless and thorough
i aim to exist as well as escape
i am living but i am socially lifeless

Running Circles

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I felt it streaming down slowly
when I was staring at the walls
of my existence, of me, the extant,
(those tears of ambiguity).

I felt it reaching out to me
saying something, as the darkness
was praying on the bits of me
(that squeaking inner voice).

I felt it dancing wildly to the
maddening notes of mayhem
as I was trying to stand still
(the stupid soul set on fire).

I felt it beating me to the core
with no ruth or reck of any kind
as I was going inside my shell
(the dubiety of my being).

Evanescent

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It’s unbelievable how you can feel
loved and lost on the very same day,
in a moment you can feel as light
as a recklessly floating feather,
in another moment you feel as if
the universe is exploding within you.

What can you do but wait until the
moment shows some mercy again!
What can you do but stay still until
the waves of anguish calm down!
What can you do but persevere
for this shall pass too, it has to!

Mr. Skeptic Says

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Yes maybe I want to be loved
to feel vulnerable and not care
to be told that I am special,
who doesn’t want to after all?

Yes maybe I want to love back
to experience the true form of joy
to surrender myself in compassion,
who doesn’t need to after all?

Yet despite all, I’m insecure maybe
Yes me, because I fear, I fear the
mystery of how things in life work,
well who isn’t unsure after all?

Dandelion of my dreams

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I am the dandelion of my dreams,
happy to fragment myself
for someone else’s happiness
I scatter, I fly, I taste freedom.

I am the dandelion of my dreams,
I am a frail delicacy you wish upon;
my existence doesn’t matter,
but my essence surely does.

I am the dandelion of my dreams,
woven with courage and calm,
I belong to the nurturing earth
knowing that the sky is my destiny.

I am the dandelion of my dreams,
you wish you had me always
but I was never made to stay
I was made to die, to fade away.

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