You are under surveillance you so are being watched. They are waiting for you to slip up even if that be for a very brief moment. So they could point at you so they could question you so they could have a laugh at your entire belief system, tell you that you’re hypocrite. So, should you be worried? Well, not quite as much as you think you need to be. Ask yourself three questions every passing day, instead. What am I doing? (Awareness) How am I doing it? (Intention) Why am I doing it? (Purpose)
If I died tomorrow, what would I be most remembered for? Believe me, that is a question that I try to answer every day thinking about the delicate fragility that tomorrow entails, what if’s, could be’s—enshroud my thoughts occasionally, not reminiscing the past but picturing my very last breath.
I may be remembered for the words that I mostly conveyed, I may be remembered for my unrelenting state of calmness, I may be remembered for efforts I made to lead myself well, I may be remembered for the instances and people I escaped, or, I may be forgotten from the next day of my non-existence.
It does not scare me as such. Yes! the thought of death I mean. Nor am I scared of the uncertainty of the moments passing by, what scares me is whether or not I’m living true to myself, what scares me is whether or not I’m living true to my death, the simple and single answer to which in most part is ‘yes’.
It’s the most beautiful form of entanglement, which I’m not at all afraid to be involved in. It’s the most pristine touch I’ve experienced, that gently brings me to life in lows and highs. It’s the happiest realization that strikes me: to be close to the one who matters the most.
Life’s fragile. More fragile than we can ever imagine. To feel the assurance of that ever-flowing breath now and not feel it the next moment. Wonder what can be so unpredictable, so startling, so gripping, so unimaginable. Yet what can be done is just going along with it, openly receiving what each day has to give, and adding value with each step we take. Just being: being here and now as time unfolds its magic and uncertainties. Just cherishing our existence even on days we don’t want to at all. Just cherishing this journey because life’s fragile.
There was a distant flickering, not piercing enough but visible. I wondered what that illumination could be, stepped forward to see. With each step, my vision started getting more and more blurry. Upon the closest encounter with the source, I was taken aback. For all I could see is the forgotten parts of me, whirling together in it.