What should I write about?

I really want to write something today. No, not because I’ve not written anything in days but because I really want to write.

But will I?

Let’s see.

There’s one problem though. What should I write about?

Should I write about how my days are better now, but they are more or less the same? Should I write about my stumbling on the lane and laughing at myself later? Should I write about my new neighbors — the pigeon family? Should I write how funny and philosophical I can be at the same time? Should I write about my period cramps that alternate between fine and very bad? Should I write about my novel love for winters which I previously hated? Should I write about my writings which make no sense to me but everybody else understands?

Well, I am still thinking…


Not this time

This ignition within me
tells me that you are
somewhere around,

I have a lump in my throat
as you are approaching me
with soft yet determined steps,

There’s insanity in the air
yes, you are around
this is the same old aroma,

My eyes are welled up
as your warm shadow
is getting more close to me,

I feel weak in the knees as you are
just a few steps away
sweeping me with old memories,

There you are at my door,
thinking I will let you in
that’s classic you, the same you

But, I guess I have done that
a lot many times and
thus you have been to and fro,

Now, is the time for me to take charge,
let’s do something new
(shuts the door).

The wonderful art of breathing

Every now and then we constantly move here and there; speeding to get tasks done, to meet deadlines. We’re in a constant battle with our older-selves. We constantly strive to be better than before, to fulfill our growing desires and to keep up with the modern day consumption trends (so that you know, our social network portrays our best version). Amid all the commotion and rush, what we forget is, we’re humans which precisely differentiates us from the machines which we are unknowingly becoming.

Struggle, is necessary for survival said Mr. Darwin – the evolutionary biologist and who are we to deny? We all have our own struggles and that is how we determine our trajectories of growth and stories of survival. What Mr. Darwin didn’t tell us is that there is but a need to remain calm while we’re struggling to do something with our lives. When we try to restlessly take that next step, to make a mark, we hamper the health of our mind — our sanity. And, this is how we become dispassionate too soon after starting something.

I myself was an anxious person. I reacted to situations in a hurry without giving them much thought which invited a phase in my life when nothing seemed to be alright. I never analyzed any decision before taking it. I never truly relished the small moments I had with people in my life. Even if I was right in an argument, I chose the wrong way to express it – by lashing out at the other person. And, let’s not even talk about how sensitive I was. One bad day could make me dispirited for days. As a teenager, I seldom realized that we need to discover harmony beyond haste.

After experiencing some life-changing events, I came across a wonderful mentor – Sagar Satyal, who through his own examples, demonstrated the need to be more mindful. The first step towards which is knowing what is essential to us – a perspective which we can gain from breathing. A simple act of breathing can also help us take a pause and can strengthen our ability to respond rather than react.

This impacted me in a lot many ways. Indeed, when we share a quiet moment with ourselves and inhale a portion of air moving by, we replenish our natural state of flow, our consciousness; and when we exhale, we sweep away the heap of panic, distress, and worry that block our passion for living.

To this end, I would like to say that the art of breathing, makes me believe in what my mentor as well as a friend, Sagar always says: “We need to keep moving forward because even if now there are grey clouds all over, the blue sky is still beneath. We need to learn to laugh at things that didn’t go well yesterday. So what if yesterday was not good, today can be one.” 

Peace within

Pain crawls and lingers on my spine
— it’s midnight —
even as I smile and stare ceaselessly,
at the wide ceiling,
love, you might think it is, no it isn’t
a much-wanted goodbye? Not even that.
It’s what you call the inner peace.

Living in the now!

Surrender yourself
in the serenity of ‘now’:
now is what manifests
the truth that you’re alive.
You won’t feel yourself
in trying to re-write history
or in imagining yourself
become somebody
you’re not already.

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